A significant item that I have learned about divorce
is that there are actual stages of divorce. These stages are: emotional, legal,
economical, co-parental, community and psychic.
If we ever start to have an emotional disconnection we
need to do whatever we can to be able to remove this from our marriage. An emotional
disconnect is the first thing that happens before people get divorced. A few
examples of this is loss of respect and love.
Legal divorce is when the judge signs that papers that
legally make you divorced. In some states they make people wait 6 months before
the state will legally make you divorced because it has been shown that down
the road people who have gotten divorced regret getting divorced. It is also
proven that when couples stick it out they become more satisfied in their
marriage and are glad that they didn’t get divorced
Economic divorce is the settlement of property. Splitting
up all of the property between the couple.
Co-parental is the division of care to your children. The
judge determines whether the husband or wife will take care of the children
along with visitation rights. This is a very stressful time for the parents as
well as the children.
Community divorce is the splitting up of your friends,
church and whole community. This not only affects the two of you but also
affects those around you that you aren’t related to. It can pull your friends
apart from their spouses because it makes them have to pick a side and
sometimes they pick opposite sides.
Psychic is regaining your individuality. This is a
hard set to accomplish because in your marriage you have hopefully created your
lives into one and so you have changed some of your views as well as become
somewhat of a new person. When you get divorced you have to then dig through
everything that you have created together and decide on who you are without
your partner.
I think that by knowing these things and knowing that
70% of divorced couples regret there decision will help us to determine if we
should really get out of the marriage or if we should stick it out together and
see if we are able to grow closer together and have a more satisfying marriage.